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Demerit for St Trinian's sequel
Sexy schoolgirls, Colin Firth and Rupert Everett fail to find laughs.
THE belles are back to dish out another lesson in mayhem and mischief in a sloppy sequel to the 2007 revamp of the '50s St Trinian's films.
Sub-Carry On romp ST TRINIAN'S 2: THE LEGEND OF FRITTON'S GOLD (PG: Entertainment In Video) sees the unruly schoolgirl sirens hunting for pirate treasure - but they end up searching for laughs.
Headmistress Miss Fritton (Rupert Everett in drag) discovers she's related to an infamous buccaneer, so her students start looking for a treasure trove, only to find that a woman-hating secret society wants to upset their plans.
This weary romp coasts along as a rudimentary old-school farce and offers nothing resembling wit.
Everett's parody of Camilla Parker-Bowles (although there's more than a passing resemblance to a celebrity candidate in the General Election) feels stale this time around. And as for Colin Firth playing the character's ageing love interest, he just looks embarrassed.
Additions to the cast include Sarah Harding of Girls Aloud, who plays a rock chick, which is hardly stretching her.
But the worst performance in this dud comes from David Tennant, whose camp villain appropriately sums up the lacklustre proceedings with the line: "Oh, this is interminable."
I would add: "Oh, for Alastair Sim's headmistress, George Cole's spiv 'Flash Harry' and Joyce Grenfell's beleaguered policewoman."
> Meryl Streep seems stuck in Mamma Mia! mode in the daffy and only sporadically funny IT'S COMPLICATED (15: Universal), which mixes elements of French farce with middle-class American comedy.
Directed by Nancy Meyers (The Holiday, Something's Gotta Give), Streep plays Jane, a divorced mother-of-three who runs a bakery and lives in upmarket Californian splendour after splitting from husband Jake (Alec Baldwin) a decade earlier.
Jane and Jack end up in bed after meeting at their son's graduation, which ignites the idea that their ten years apart might bring them together again, despite Jack's marriage to the much-younger Agness.
Meanwhile, Jane is wooed by divorced architect Adam (Steve Martin) after he's hired to remodel her kitchen.
Meyers manages to put some glamour into the sex lives of the 50-somethings and some of you will find the film deliciously funny...like chocolate fudge cake, a guilty pleasure.
But my abiding memory is of Baldwin's portrayal of a horny old dog, which is likely to make even his biggest fans cringe.
> Inspired and engrossing John Lennon biopic NOWHERE BOY (15: Icon), capturing the intensity and contradictions of his teenage years, is a welcome addition to the Beatles mythology.
In this coming-of-age story, schoolboy John Winston Lennon (newcomer Aaron Johnson) is brought up by his stern Aunt Mimi (Kristin Scott Thomas) in 1950s Liverpool.
He later discovers that his mother Julia (Anne-Marie Duff) has actually been living nearby with another brood of kids. Julia loves rock 'n' roll, in complete contrast to the strait-laced Mimi, which prompts jealousy and heartache. The volatility of Lennon's mum also hints at the troubled past behind these unusual domestic arrangements.
Johnson holds his own as the Lennon lookalike alongside experienced performers, while Sam Taylor-Wood takes a measured approach in her directorial feature debut.
Add the screenplay from Matt Greenhalgh, whose CV includes the brilliant Joy Division biopic Control, and you have a convincing combination of emotive drama and pop history.
> DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE MORGANS? (PG: Sony) could have been a classy, fish-out-of-water farce about marital mishap - and it starts promisingly enough.
But Sarah Jessica Parker and Hugh Grant, playing two estranged New Yorkers clumsily trying to repair their marriage, sleepwalk their way through a comedy in which corny old jokes can be seen coming a mile away.
The pair witness an organised crime hit, become targets themselves and are bustled off to Wyoming in the witness protection programme.
Way out west, they then have to contend with good 'ol boys, gun-toting locals, uncomfortable digs and being exposed as Democrats.
Despite a top-notch cast and production, writer/director Marc Lawrence (Music And Lyrics) presents nothing new, funny or exciting.
> TOP TEN: 1 Zombieland; 2 Law Abiding Citizen; 3 2012; 4 Nine; 5 In The Electric Mist; 6 Twilight Saga: New Moon; 7 The Men Who Stare At Goats; 8 The Box; 9 Harry Brown; 10 Paranormal Activity. Chart from Blockbuster.
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Thursday 09 February 2012
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